Mockitecure of the Near East: Dubai Vol.1

Special thanks to S. Von Dreamforce for pointing out a very structurally challenging, formally ultra-inquisitivitival, and tasty project. This is the Desert Deathstar. At first glance, not so goofy. In fact, it looks like a misdirected first year architecture school library. Howeverly, when the didactical titacticals are annunciationed from the architects, OMA, the mockitectural prowess of this building is extereme. EXTREME!!!

Check out this quote from Rem:

What is left to be invented when it comes to the creation of a landmark?

So far the 21st century – in a desperate effort to differentiate one building from the next – has been characterized by a manic production of extravagant shapes. Paradoxically, the result is a surprisingly monotonous urban substance, where any attempt at ‘difference’ is instantly neutralized in a sea of meaningless architectural gestures.

RAK is confronted with an important choice: Does it join so many others in this mad, futile race or does it become the first to offer
a new credibility?

This project represents a final attempt at distinction through architecture: not through the creation of the next bizarre image, but through a return to pure form.

Good Lord!!!! It is pure mockitecture! Not only is it pure form, it raises serious issues about building. And to top it all off, it seems that the architect has taken into consideration a series of didactic responses to urban interstititiation, green rooves, and womens liberation, and produced a building that was expressively designed for night rendering. More to come on this groundbreaking project soon.

Why do you Sound like Such a Jerk When You Blog?

on mockitectural vocabulary:

the synthesis of new and exciting words is not merely to confuse the reader. There are two purposes for the wildly innapropriate way in which mockitecure is discussed:

1. To create for mockitecture a unique discourse and identity. Architecture is a highly intellectual thought-oriented field. Therefore, the critical vocabulary is very itellectual and thought oriented. This makes sense that the words match the subject. Architecture is not, however a field-prescribed dictum, such as say, medicine. The words architects use are not as rigidly defined and technically mandating as in medicine. This is because architecture is a much more open and subjective field than medicine. In this way, architectural vocabulary can be anything it wants, just like design itself. Mockitectural criticism sounds like mockitecture looks. It must be both successful and goofy. It manifests the same principles as mockitecture itself.

2. self effacing humor which arises with in us the lighter side of us and our art

3. A self revealing theoretical thought process is mandated to make the new words. sometimes the owrds make themselves, and end up making lots of sense. for example phenominimalism. as the syllables runtogether, new words are iterated and sometimes they make lots of sense, where they come from is another story, but there are lots of subconscious factors that make the words mean more than just prefixes and suffixes.

Honestly, Why? Are you Serious?

Goals of mockitecure...

• attempts to continue tradition of california crazy and architectural folly as well as post modernism while incorporating technology and traditional architectural theory and ethics
• critiques the ambiguity and pompous gestures of contemporary architecture
• underscores a lighter side of architecture, both tectonically and critically
• make light of the vocabulary used in architectural discourse
• theorizes a new attitude about playfulness and architecture
• makes light through critique of bad architectural solutions and ideas

Types of mockitecture:

Good:

• phallic expressionism
• california crazy
• neo california crazy
• post modernism
• neo post modernism

Bad:

• buildings that make people angry or uncomfortable
• Very ugly buildings

Can go either way:

• Architectural folly
• Buildings that are inappropriate for their time period

Possible mockitects:

(disclaimer: this is a compliment, and sometimes only a fragment of an architect's body of work or attitude toward building is considered mockitecture.)

• rem koolhaas
• renzo piano
• robert venturi
• charles moore
• hans hollien

Mockitecture on Accident

One of the questions posed more irregularily about mockitectural theoros is the question of "Should a building make you angry?" I would condonate to say no, however a number of the highest level protopro contemporary mockitectural thinkers say oh heck yes. SO as this debate rages, here is an example of a building that accidentally sets a precifidentalness for buildings that as the author of this arcticle says "is like a bad dream" Enjoy!

Notablier... Notwithstanding, this is not good mockitecture. It is bad mockitecture. Bad mockitecture is bad architecture, expressively badly aestheticizationalled usually commercial architecture. So if bad mockitecture is bad architecture, then good mockitecture has to be... do the analogy. its logic.

I especially like the part about the street that has no room to walk along. At an outdoor shopping mall. Classic mockitecture! Another term i have just stumbled upon is "faccadity" it is ancient roman or something for odd facade, and is one of the greatest and possibly first terms to be associated with mockitecture.

Even bad mockitecture has some theoros apparently. phenominimalism... "Actually, I thought H&H wasn't so much of an ugly building as it is an ugly experience."

(image via Hollywood and Highland)

The Birth of Mockitecture?

Where did we come from? can mockitecture's didactical titacticals generate response amongst a new generational histomaterationalism? Much agrin, these are pioneerial.

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

Neo-PostModernism aka Mockitecture vis a vis Spa-chitecture

What is desrciptive mockitectural theoros? Here untoforth is the exact verbatibilism of my very first mockitectural project (2007, unbuilt)

• To enlighten the age of the modernistical anticontextualism in which the sital relations have been diluted to no more than a ignorance of historilogicalitinicity, specificity of materialnessness and existing pretectonical arrangements.
• Worthwhile, this phenomenologicalitinouslier site strategy that has been mortared out of my architectonical shell cannon will not only unite all seekers, but make love to their architectural mind’s eye.
• By contextually preproto-sensitivitizing vis a vis a research based inquisitival cognition based stie visit, “The building” will have an architectural knee-jerk reaction to the existing preponderance, per se.
• “The building” is the most complete unity of Comical Regionalism and the more avant garde, wood construction.
• “The building” will employ the usagally derived pragmagic to plot rectilinear spaces into a series of gridded structural elements. With the grid set up, the harmony and chorus strike the architectural notes to rival that of a million song birds. Then, after that has happened, there will be a sensuous melding of the “architectural” weaving canopy type tectonic chronic.
• The unaforementionabled tectonic chronic is designed to manifest the connection and relationship between grid and eel (see also egg and dart pattern).
• After dunking the user in the Divinely Perfect HotNacktbaden that is “Le Building” (“The Building”) he or she tastes the nectar of this unity, The daylightfastness and conjunctive systems will all be a corroborativity scene.
• Making for a booyah moment, there is a rebuilding period in which the user is scrum tackled into the path the leads to the ultimate goal, or the “Architectural Super Bowl Ring” This will be enhanced with an onslaught of Lombardianarianism.
• Thank you and Congratulations, per se.

Somethin' like a phenomenon...

What is mockitecture? Well, if Mies' Barcelona Pavilion is Citizen Kane, then mockitecure buildings are Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Dont be scared of mockitecture.

Before we prolongitudigate, lets clear up one itemation that has yet to be seriously discoursed upon. Mockitecture, its founders, and its uncanny ability to test your proficiency at using context clues, mean in no way to put down the profession of architecture, in fact it would be the opposite. Flattery is the best form of Conceptigraphy, as they say.

The mock in mockitecture was chosen not because it "makes sense" or "calls your attention to anything" or "was thought about on any level" but because it almost rhymes with architecture.
Per se?

So next time your at a hot dog shaped hot dog stand, think is this mockitecture? The question is not of whom it were to have been for it were. Then think to your self "Yes." Because a hot dog shaped hot dog stand is definitely mockitecture.

Through my blog (disclaimer: please dont question my metrosexuality merely because i have a blog, i know what you are thinking.) we will feature many proscripteratorials about verious projects that in one way or another are indeed mockitecture. This will be an autoerotic foot massage of a blog where alas mockitecture will have room to grow and explore itself through drawing. Analysitorializingly, find buildings that are jokes and send them to me. If you or anyone you know has an idea or project that is mockitecuture, send me a link or do whatever people do on blogs.